6 Common Red Flags in a Relationship & How to Handle Them

Red flags can be hard to spot and sometimes are specific to each person. Additionally, what we consider to be a red flag can change over time and are dependent ultimately on what we are looking for. It can be difficult to spot red flags especially during the beginning of a relationship when often we are blinded by love. We may even see the red flags but often make excuses and play it off because of the excitement and emotions of the beginning of a relationship.

Here are some red flags that are important to look out for when beginning a new relationship:

1. Lack of communication - Communication is important in all relationships and especially with a romantic partner. Lack of communication can lead to conflict and misunderstandings. Do you find your partner is often unresponsive or distracted? This can be a sign of bad communication.

2. Love bombing - Love bombing is a huge indicator of emotional abuse and most often leads to a toxic relationship. Love bombing always occurs in the beginning of the relationship and often looks like big declarations of love, conversations about the future, and extreme amounts of affections. Love bombing can lead you to fall in love easily and quickly only to have the other person pull away. Love bombing is a big red flag and could be considered a deal breaker.

3. Unwilling to compromise - If your partner is unwilling to compromise it may be difficult for you to feel heard and satisfied. Even if they are unwilling to compromise with the little things it can cause resentment and overall a one-sided relationship.

4. They are inconsistent with you - Do you ever feel like you are unsure of what version of your partner you will get today? If your partner often goes from extreme emotion to the next, this may be a red flag. They may not be in control of their emotions and may be emotionally immature.

5. You feel afraid or nervous to express your feelings - If you ever find yourself nervous to express your own emotions, this is your own body and gut telling you there is a red flag. You may feel a pit in your stomach and find yourself withholding expressing yourself in fear of a negative reaction from your partner. In a healthy relationship you should be able to express your feelings regardless how small or big it is.

6. Gaslighting - Gaslighting is one of the biggest indicators of a toxic and abusive relationship. Gaslighting is when your partner turns the blame on you and your reaction for something they did. They use this tactic to manipulate you in order to abuse your feelings and leave you feeling insecure. Do you find yourself getting upset at your partner but at the end you end up apologizing? Gaslighting is a huge red flag and a sign of a toxic relationship and emotional abuse.

Now that we covered a couple of red flags, if you do identify one in a new relationship, what do you do? Not all red flags are necessarily deal breakers but that is something ultimately for you to decide. First, check in with yourself - when do you feel uneasy around your partner? Identifying the red flag is the first step. After the red flag is identified - ask yourself if this is something that is very important to you. Additionally, talk it out with your close friends and family. A second opinion is always helpful to distinguish red flags. Next, confront your partner. This red flag could also be a miscommunication. Communicate with your partner and let them know how you feel, once you get their feedback it can help you understand more if you may have misinterpreted something or it may confirm that it is something you cannot tolerate. Lastly, remember to always put your needs first and listen to your gut! Your body and your mind are deeply connected, do not ignore how you feel and always confront any red flags you might feel!